Jackass Salesman

S

smokepiper

Kilted Gorilla
On my way home from an early gig I stopped by the Large B&M in town. I was walking throught the store when a very eager, young salesman began helping me. I was immediately assaulted with his sales pitch on Punch and Partagas. I was kind and told him I had enjoyed many, but was looking for something new. I continued perusing the shop picking up a couple of JdN Lanceros, 2 Tatuaje Noellas, and 2 Havana VI Victorias.

I came to the Padron humidor and looked longingly at the PAMs. He then informed me the 26 was better, because it was pre embargo. I chuckled. "you have to be kidding me?" "No" says he. "You know they're not made with pre embargo tobacco" says I. "Oh, well thew blend is from a pre embargo recipe" says the plucky clerk. "Just like the Toranjo 1916" says he. I gave him a light pat on the belly and smiled. "You have no idea what you're talking about do you" says I. He blushed.

"How about the ESG 20 year salute" says he? "They've released them every 20 years since the embargo". I shook my head. "Wrong again" says I. Ashton wasn't even a cigar company when the embargo went into effect".

I finally found the new stuff I was looking for. The Illusiones had come in. I picked up an 88, a 888, and something else I can't recall. I stood and talked to the eager young man trying to impart some of the CS knowledge I have acrued over the past years. He carefully packaged my bundle and away i went.

I left with a smile thinking what a dumbass. I can only hope he doesn't try to pull this next time I visit. I may be forced to thump the young 'un.

Thought I'd share my plight and some awesome smokes with everyone.

D
 
You shouldn't besmerch the young man's wisdom...I have some Pre-embargo Nubs that are smoking deliciously. ;)
 
Yeah, try and not let it ruin your day...keep informing the kid and one day he'll likely be able to really help some new smoker come into the full enjoyment of this great hobby.
 
In the grand scheme of things,I guess its better then getting a blank stare when asking a cigar question.
That happens more often then not in my experience.
 
yeah there's nothing worse than going to a shop where the hourly guys know absolutely NOTHING about cigars. You ask 2 or 3 questions in a row, only to receive very generic, vanilla answers in return -- code for, i've never smoked any of the cigars in the humidor.
 
68TriShield said:
In the grand scheme of things,I guess its better then getting a blank stare when asking a cigar question.
That happens more often then not in my experience.
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:tpd:
Mullet said:
yeah there's nothing worse than going to a shop where the hourly guys know absolutely NOTHING about cigars. You ask 2 or 3 questions in a row, only to receive very generic, vanilla answers in return -- code for, i've never smoked any of the cigars in the humidor.
Click to expand...
:tpd:

I'm sure this guy will sell quite a few cigars to those who are not informed buyers. His pitch sounds beautiful, despite the inaccuracy.:D
 
At a holiday food show, quite a few years ago, our VP of sales assigned several reps to a table all their own. One guy had maybe canapes, another fancy appetizers, I was assigned to a high falutin' dessert table.

He gave us a few minutes to study our offerings, then came around for our presentations. I bluffed my way very well through mine until he asked me what that chocolate wafer standing up from the middle of a piece of cheesecake was. I replied that it was a chocolate sharks fin.....quickly, & with a completely straight face.

He was delighted with my presentation. I guess total BS is sometimes better than nothing from some perspectives. :r

Be nice to the kid & smoke a cigar with him if you want to spread a little CS perspective around. Who knows, maybe he'll pick up a little know how.
 
gnukfu said:
Those 26's weren't rolled in 1926? :c I got ripped off! :w
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I had a R Y J Medellas de Oro Habana Reserve the other day. it has 1875 on the band. One of my less knowledgeble cigar buddies asked what something 125 years old tasted like, and how that was even possible (Not to mention it's a $4 stick)

I explained, then suggested he should take my Great Great grandmother out on a date to experience the taste of 125 years...

Sorry you had a noob try and explain things to you...sounds like he needs some Good Ole Gorilla Guidance!!!
 
One of the owners of my local B&M is a hard-nosed kind of fellow. Former FBI - no real sense of humor - takes the serious high-brow approach to everything - but a good guy nonetheless.

Well, a female (now this is not bashing females) sales rep for one tobacco company came into the shop one day. I won't mention the cigar company or the cigar she was pushing but she was all about this smoke, right, that he needs to get some in - it in demand, it's limited production, blah blah blah.

The owner politely asks her, "Well, what's the flavor profile." Is it this? Is it that? You all know the cigar rhetoric. She says, "Oh, I don't smoke cigars."

WTF is that? Can someone tell me?

He said, "Ma'am, do you honestly expect me to take the advice of someone that doesn't smoke cigars and actually tries to sale them for a living?" She's going, "Well, I've studied...uh...this cigar is made from the best quality..."

"Ma'am, get out of my shop!"

Swear, it happened right in front of me.
 
SHOE said:
One of the owners of my local B&M is a hard-nosed kind of fellow. Former FBI - no real sense of humor - takes the serious high-brow approach to everything - but a good guy nonetheless.

Well, a female (now this is not bashing females) sales rep for one tobacco company came into the shop one day. I won't mention the cigar company or the cigar she was pushing but she was all about this smoke, right, that he needs to get some in - it in demand, it's limited production, blah blah blah.

The owner politely asks her, "Well, what's the flavor profile." Is it this? Is it that? You all know the cigar rhetoric. She says, "Oh, I don't smoke cigars."

WTF is that? Can someone tell me?

He said, "Ma'am, do you honestly expect me to take the advice of someone that doesn't smoke cigars and actually tries to sale them for a living?" She's going, "Well, I've studied...uh...this cigar is made from the best quality..."

"Ma'am, get out of my shop!"

Swear, it happened right in front of me.
Click to expand...
:r:r:r
 
Ha, it's that way in all stores. Man, I've heard some crap from gun salesmen and motorcycle salesmen that's just as bad.

And yeah, I was in West Coast Cigars in San Jose and there was this bald youngish guy who didn't know crap about cigars.


:ss
 
lol. this happens to me very often.
i usually just let them think they know it all, than i go home and look into my black humi and smile.....
:ss
 
This is funny stuff. I think I'm fortunate. Here in Denver there are two shops I go to. One is run by some grizzled old men with probably about three or four tastebuds left between them, and who are seen in the back smoking fat cigars on the couch at any given time when you walk in. They're good guys that know their stuff, but unfortunately the humidor lacks in selection. The other shop has a big humidor with anything you could want, and the clerk is a younger guy who does smoke and who tells me what he smokes or used to smoke and how they taste. Never once pitched a hard sell or a house blend to me or led me wrong with a suggestion. I've yet to encounter a comically unknowledgable clerk at a B&M.
 
SHOE said:
One of the owners of my local B&M is a hard-nosed kind of fellow. Former FBI - no real sense of humor - takes the serious high-brow approach to everything - but a good guy nonetheless.

Well, a female (now this is not bashing females) sales rep for one tobacco company came into the shop one day. I won't mention the cigar company or the cigar she was pushing but she was all about this smoke, right, that he needs to get some in - it in demand, it's limited production, blah blah blah.

The owner politely asks her, "Well, what's the flavor profile." Is it this? Is it that? You all know the cigar rhetoric. She says, "Oh, I don't smoke cigars."

WTF is that? Can someone tell me?

He said, "Ma'am, do you honestly expect me to take the advice of someone that doesn't smoke cigars and actually tries to sale them for a living?" She's going, "Well, I've studied...uh...this cigar is made from the best quality..."

"Ma'am, get out of my shop!"

Swear, it happened right in front of me.
Click to expand...

Was she blonde? Because I think I know the rep you are talking about and if this is the case then I agree with him!
 
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