Immediate Recall of all El Hairo Cigars

ABC Cigars

Newbie in the jungle
It is with great disappointment that ABC Cigars must immediately recall all El Hairo cigars that have shipped to date.

We are saddened to learn that our cigars have been the unwitting victim of a sabotage so ruthless as to defy description.

One of our staff of highly trained Macaque monkeys seems to have been miffed when it's spouse was reprimanded for a sorting room behavior called "fecal spraying". Fecal spraying has been prohibited in all of our windowless facilities. As many know "fecal spraying" and "fecal tossing" are inherent Macaque behaviors, and usually occurs when one animal is upset with another. While both are instinctive primate behaviors, we have no place for it in most of our facilities.

The initial shipment of El Hairo, and specifically an as yet to be announced size called the "Reggae Braid" was "misted" while being sorted and must be recalled.

We learned of this incident when reviews from Cigar Aficionado staff began pointing out "salty overtones" and "hints of uric acid on the finish" While the Reggae Braid achieved a highly sought after 98 rating from CA, we still feel it is in all parties best interests to recall the entire line.

We will update this announcement as more information comes in.

Thank you. - ABC Cigars
 
This is unbelievable!!! What's a little fecal matter between primates? First there were delays in production and now this??? What am I supposed to use now to "scratch the itch" that only El Hairos have been able to satiate?

This reminds me of the time Sam 'n Ella came over for hamburgers last summer. Best damn bbq I'd ever had!

Should anyone feel queasy about this recent announcement, please let me know and I'll gladly take these cigars off your hands!
 
wait. is this a joke? since when are monkeys allowed in sorting rooms? unless... omg you mean to tell me i can't make a cigar that monkeys make!? all of a sudden all my interest for my tastey cigars that have been most likely "fecal misted" no longer seem too appealing... and NOT because they were fecal misted... what a depressing day, i think its time for a cigar to turn things around.
 
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