Official banter with Jessica Alba thread.

[Jessica Alba]

Hi everyone,

I have to admit, this is all kind of new to me. I was invited here by one of my fan club presidents. (Hi Daveywavey...x0x0) Once we resolved the stalking issue he's turned out to be an OK guy. Long story short, I could always tell when he was stalking me due to the strong odor of cigars. It made it pretty easy for the LAPD to find him.

He said my name has come up a few times at this cigar thingy he visits, and wanted me to stop by and answer any questions. Since he is currently obeying the rules of the restraining order, I figured it was something I would try...I mean he does have that big poster of me he says he holds up with one hand. Whatever that means.

Here's a little about myself...

Full Name: Jessica Marie Alba
Age: 24 Date of Birth: April 28, 1981
Birth Place: Pomona, California
Residence: Southern California
Height: 5'7 Bust: 34" Waist: 25" Hips: 34" Size: 4 Hair: Brown Eyes: Brown

I was born in Pomona, California, on April 28, 1981. My family moved to Biloxi, Mississippi while I was very young. My father, who was in the Air Force, moved the family to Del Rio, Texas, later. Eventually, we settled in southern California when I was nine. I had always wanted to be an actress from when I was five. I took my first acting class at the age of 12. Shortly later, I was signed by an agency.

The rest is history as they say.

That's it, ask away, but be gentle, I am new to this internet thing.

[ToddziLLa]

Hi Jessica, you there? :r

[tecnorobo]

So tell me Jessica, what do you think about younger guys?

[ResIpsa]

Hi everyone,

I have to admit, this is all kind of new to me. I was invited here by one of my fan club presidents. (Hi Daveywavey...x0x0) Once we resolved the stalking issue he's turned out to be an OK guy. Long story short, I could always tell when he was stalking me due to the strong odor of cigars. It made it pretty easy for the LAPD to find him.

He said my name has come up a few times at this cigar thingy he visits, and wanted me to stop by and answer any questions. Since he is currently obeying the rules of the restraining order, I figured it was something I would try...I mean he does have that big poster of me he says he holds up with one hand. Whatever that means.

Here's a little about myself...

Full Name: Jessica Marie Alba
Age: 24 Date of Birth: April 28, 1981
Birth Place: Pomona, California
Residence: Southern California
Height: 5'7 Bust: 34" Waist: 25" Hips: 34" Size: 4 Hair: Brown Eyes: Brown

I was born in Pomona, California, on April 28, 1981. My family moved to Biloxi, Mississippi while I was very young. My father, who was in the Air Force, moved the family to Del Rio, Texas, later. Eventually, we settled in southern California when I was nine. I had always wanted to be an actress from when I was five. I took my first acting class at the age of 12. Shortly later, I was signed by an agency.

The rest is history as they say.

That's it, ask away, but be gentle, I am new to this internet thing.Jessica, you left some sundries at the house this morning. ;)

[Bigwaved]

Welome to CS, JA. :D

[backwoods]

Hi jessica.....can you explain this pic of you I found?


jessica (http://www.sheendigital.com/alba/)



I loved you in that bluecrush movie:D

[Corona Gigante]

Hi, Jess! Welcome to Club Stogie!

I couldn't help but wonder... would you like a sandwich?

[68TriShield]

Since this is the everything butt cigars section,I was wondering.....do you wear panties or thongs?



Oh and welcome to the jungle!

[ResIpsa]

Since this is the everything butt cigars section,I was wondering.....do you wear panties or thongs?



Oh and welcome to the jungle!thongs....see above.:)

[Jessica Alba]

So tell me Jessica, what do you think about younger guys?

Well sweetie frankly, they lack one thing I am looking for that I find older men have...stamina. Sorry!

[Jessica Alba]

Hi jessica.....can you explain this pic of you I found?

jessica (http://www.sheendigital.com/alba/)


PMS baby, don't mess with it.

[Jessica Alba]

Jessica, you left some sundries at the house this morning. ;)

Honey...move out of mom and dads house, your dreams are getting the best of you.

[ResIpsa]

Honey...move out of mom and dads house, your dreams are getting the best of you.
sorry didn't mean to out you......:rolleyes:

[Jessica Alba]

Since this is the everything butt cigars section,I was wondering.....do you wear panties or thongs?


Have you ever seen me in public? If so you would know the answer is "neither".

[Jessica Alba]

You guys are naughty :confused: .

I have to go now...manicure time!

[glovepuppy]

I mean he does have that big poster of me he says he holds up with one hand. Whatever that means.


:r Instant classic.

[Stogiefanatic182]

hey jessica how do you feel about college baseball players?

[DriftyGypsy]

Hey, Jessica... since you like older men, while I am not as old as that Santa feller, remember he only comes once a year... and well honey you got to have something to do the other 364 nights...

[Blueface]

Jessica,
Please define older for us.
Whatever it is, somehow I think I almost there.

[tecnorobo]

Well sweetie frankly, they lack one thing I am looking for that I find older men have...stamina. Sorry!

Jessica you've got to be kidding me.
Experience maybe
Stamina? Half of these old farts on here loose their breath when they make the trip downstairs from their computer to watch tv.

but... suit yourself

[Stog-a-Boy]

Hey Jessica, would it be possible for you to donate me your CS bux??...I need some bux to change my Sub Title.

[Da Klugs]

I've got Nectares if you're in the right frame of mind. :)

[Sean9689]

I've got Nectares if you're in the right frame of mind. :)

:r What about me Dave? Screw Jessica.

[Stogiefanatic182]

Hey Jessica, would it be possible for you to donate me your CS bux??...I need some bux to change my Sub Title.

you think yours is bad, look at mine

[Da Klugs]

:r What about me Dave? Screw Jessica.

That was kind of the idea.. but there would have been wine involved and possibly some cash.

[Blueface]

you think yours is bad, look at mine

:r :r :r
Man you have brighten up a bad day!

[Sean9689]

That was kind of the idea.. but there would have been wine involved and possibly some cash.

LMAO! I knew I left that post open enough for you. :D

[DriftyGypsy]

Screw Jessica.

That was kind of the idea..

Now we know why Smitty gifted you the little blue pill :D

[68TriShield]

thongs....see above.:)

Once is enough Vic,thanks though.....:rolleyes:

[Neuromancer]

So tell me Jessica, what do you think about younger guys?Well sweetie frankly, they lack one thing I am looking for that I find older men have...stamina. Sorry!Hey, hon, 60 old enough for you? If you want stamina, just ask the gorillas in southern Florida who of them can party the hardest...but you'll have to share my time with my GF...:r

[Bob]

I have some rum soaked Strawberries and an aged stogie!!!!:r

[ToddziLLa]

You wouldn't happen to be into overweight college kids would you?

[dyj48]

Welcome to Club Stogie, Jessica, don't pay much attention to some of the apes here...they can be playful but generally harmless. We're about lots of things here, but mostly about cigars. If you're interested in trying a few, just let us know, we've got many recommendations and I'm sure a bunch of these gorillas will be willing to send you a few.

Hope you enjoy your stay here. Please do come back.

[Joekendall04]

Wow Jessica, 7 posts and already a 53 RG, you must know an awful lot about cigars.

By the way, I may have forgotten to mention this to the rest of you gorillas, but my name isn't actually Joekendall, it's Jessica Simpson...

[icehog3]

There's one open futon at the Shack for '07 Jessica...and you won't have far to reach if you wanna do some wrist curls. :D

[croatan]

There's one open futon at the Shack for '07 Jessica...and you won't have far to reach if you wanna do some wrist curls. :D
First she needs to head down this direction for the first of what will hopefully become the Weekly Two Person Herf.

[icehog3]

First she needs to head down this direction for the first of what will hopefully become the Weekly Two Person Herf.

Yeah? Her and who else? :r

[croatan]

Yeah? Her and who else? :r
Me, you silly Hog. I've already got something picked out for her to smoke. :D

[icehog3]

Me, you silly Hog. I've already got something picked out for her to smoke. :D

Pickled? Think she'll be cool with all those little warts? :r

[croatan]

Think she'll be cool with all those little warts? :r

According to the doctor, those should be gone by the weekend. If not, I'll just tell her it's studded for her pleasure.

[icehog3]

According to the doctor, those should be gone by the weekend. If not, I'll just tell her it's studded for her pleasure.

Like the loft at the Shack!!:r

[punch]

Jessica you've got to be kidding me.
Experience maybe
Stamina? Half of these old farts on here loose their breath when they make the trip downstairs from their computer to watch tv.

but... suit yourself

You've got it all wrong. What we used to do all night now takes us all night to do.

[kvm]

Jess, Sorry I didn't return your calls but but Jane Goodall has been watching me like a hawk. I'm still interested in doing that banana thing.

[icehog3]

Jess, Sorry I didn't return your calls but but Jane Goodall has been watching me like a hawk. I'm still interested in doing that banana thing.

Jess says that's ok, she was over here anyway and can't talk with her mouth full.

[Da Klugs]

Jess says that's ok, she was over here anyway and can't talk with her mouth full.

She just called and seemed clear spoken. Said she was Skolin it with the hog. Just a Lil pinch between the cheek and bum.

[xhris]

I was born in April too!! Let's be friends :)

[icehog3]

She just called and seemed clear spoken. Said she was Skolin it with the hog. Just a Lil pinch between the cheek and bum.

Works for me regardless!! :r

[RONINDICE]

Hi Jessica. I have a casting couch and cheap booze. :al :D Actually its just a couch but you are an actress....We can make it work.

[Kiwi Michelle]

Hi Jessica

Welcome to the jungle - as you can see it is a very FREINDLY place!!

Just a couple of things i thought you might like to know. They like **** here but it is not what you think!! It is photos of sticks and boxes.

They get very excited if you post a picture of your box. Everyone gets in behind you. It is very uplifting. I myself have had this experience. Especially if you share your box around.. this is one way to make good close friends here.

I hope these tips will help you here.
You can look to me like your older sister (not much older!!) anything I can do to help.

[cquon]

Hi Jessica

Welcome to the jungle - as you can see it is a very FREINDLY place!!

Just a couple of things i thought you might like to know. They like **** here but it is not what you think!! It is photos of sticks and boxes.

They get very excited if you post a picture of your box. Everyone gets in behind you. It is very uplifting. I myself have had this experience. Especially if you share your box around.. this is one way to make good close friends here.

I hope these tips will help you here.
You can look to me like your older sister (not much older!!) anything I can do to help.


cquon blushes!

[ToddziLLa]

There's one open futon at the Shack for '07 Jessica
My bed is available too! :mn

[ResIpsa]

My bed is available too! :mnThat could lead to the first "Death by Snoring" incident at the Shack..:) (sorry todd:D )

[luckybandit]

are you a yankees or a met's fan?
pm me back and we can discuss this in person in person!

luckybandit

[Da Klugs]

That could lead to the first "Death by Snoring" incident at the Shack..:) (sorry todd:D )

Hey at some cheap motels you have to feed quaters to get the mattress to vibrate like that. :2 x12.5 :D

[colgate]

Well sweetie frankly, they lack one thing I am looking for that I find older men have...stamina. Sorry!

Jessica dear I think you're confusing worn out synapses with stamina. It's not like we want to work that hard! But hey, who am I to ruin a fantasy.

[icehog3]

My bed is available too! :mn

Thanks Todd, but I'd rather sleep with Jessica. :p

[SvilleKid]

I agree, "yes, Jessica is that hot". I thought the thing with us older guys was that we had the experience to know the best way to "treat" a lady!! The stamina thing is simply a matter of a little blue pill according to Bob Dole.

Anyway, from an old guy, nice to see a pretty face among the gorillas, regardless of TOTM.

[cigar no baka]

Come ON is anyone taking this at face value?

[cigar_040]

Afternoon banterers and Jessica........:D

[KingMeatyHand]

OK, this is a little creepy

[ToddziLLa]

That could lead to the first "Death by Snoring" incident at the Shack.. (sorry todd)
Hey at some cheap motels you have to feed quaters to get the mattress to vibrate like that. :2 x12.5
Thanks Todd, but I'd rather sleep with Jessica.
:r :r :D :D

[Dogwatch Dale]

Well sweetie frankly, they lack one thing I am looking for that I find older men have...stamina. Sorry!

Or, as I've been told many times, "The older the violin, the sweeter the music!"

[SvilleKid]

Come ON is anyone taking this at face value?

You mean, there's a chance that this isn't really Jessica that we are talking to!?!? Now, I'm really embarrassed:mad:. I hope (member name edited out), er Jessica did not take my PM to heart, cause I would hate to think I was whispering sweet nothings into the ear of some HAIRY APE:D

[DriftyGypsy]

You mean, there's a chance that this isn't really Jessica that we are talking to!?!? Now, I'm really embarrassed:mad:. I hope (member name edited out), er Jessica did not take my PM to heart, cause I would hate to think I was whispering sweet nothings into the ear of some HAIRY APE:D


If it is some HAIRY APE then I am really worried about the reply I got... let's just say it was NSFW:D

[Mister Moo]

Hi Miss Jessica.

Since you're not a cigar smoker, could you please tell me if Wm. H smokes cigars and, if so, what kind? How would you describe him as a teacher and as a man in general? What do you think his one special talent is?

I love stuff like this....

M'oo.

[Jessica Alba]

Jessica you've got to be kidding me.
Experience maybe
Stamina? Half of these old farts on here loose their breath when they make the trip downstairs from their computer to watch tv.

but... suit yourself

Better to lose their breath than to only make it half way up my thigh before "releasing their emotions" young one.

[Jessica Alba]

There's one open futon at the Shack for '07 Jessica...and you won't have far to reach if you wanna do some wrist curls. :D

I've been working out Mr. Hog. Is the barbell large?

[King James]

Better to lose their breath than to only make it half way up my thigh before "releasing their emotions" young one.

Give one of us youngsters from Wisconsin a shot to prove that statement wrong. O wait, I'm the only one....so, what do you say? haha

[Jessica Alba]

Hi Jessica

Welcome to the jungle - as you can see it is a very FREINDLY place!!

Just a couple of things i thought you might like to know. They like **** here but it is not what you think!! It is photos of sticks and boxes.

They get very excited if you post a picture of your box. Everyone gets in behind you. It is very uplifting. I myself have had this experience. Especially if you share your box around.. this is one way to make good close friends here.

I hope these tips will help you here.
You can look to me like your older sister (not much older!!) anything I can do to help.

It's so nice to know I am not the only women in the jungle. I haven't had any rolls that required me to box, so I don't have much to show. I did do alot of kick boxing style training for Dark Angel.

[Jessica Alba]

Give one of us youngsters from Wisconsin a shot to prove that statement wrong. O wait, I'm the only one....so, what do you say? haha

Wisconsin...I heard Wisconsin is full of lighter fluid drinking farm boys that make their dairy cows nervous. Is that true? Keep in mind, I'm a Cali girl.

[Kiwi Michelle]

Better to lose their breath than to only make it half way up my thigh before "releasing their emotions" young one.

hahaha :tpd:

[AAlmeter]

A friend of mine, we'll call him....uh....RcktMan...wanted me to ask you....do you have an Ann Coulter mask and if not, would you mind wearing one?

[King James]

Wisconsin...I heard Wisconsin is full of lighter fluid drinking farm boys that make their dairy cows nervous. Is that true? Keep in mind, I'm a Cali girl.

mama always told me the lighter fluid makes the paint chips go down easier

[Kenpokrazi]

It's so nice to know I am not the only women in the jungle. I haven't had any rolls that required me to box, so I don't have much to show. I did do alot of kick boxing style training for Dark Angel.

What about you showing your box? Does it look like this :sb ?

[Kayak_Rat]

Wisconsin...I heard Wisconsin is full of lighter fluid drinking farm boys that make their dairy cows nervous. Is that true? Keep in mind, I'm a Cali girl.

This is tru. know Arkanswyers r a differnt stowry. We does not souport descriminimination on the farm. We are ekwal opurtunity "emplowyers".

You shore gots a perty mouth!;)

[Stogiefanatic182]

thats to bad you would rather have a fat dude who gets outa breath easy than a young italian stud who plays baseball such as myself

[germantown rob]

Hi Jessica

Welcome to the jungle - as you can see it is a very FREINDLY place!!

Just a couple of things i thought you might like to know. They like **** here but it is not what you think!! It is photos of sticks and boxes.

They get very excited if you post a picture of your box. Everyone gets in behind you. It is very uplifting. I myself have had this experience. Especially if you share your box around.. this is one way to make good close friends here.

I hope these tips will help you here.
You can look to me like your older sister (not much older!!) anything I can do to help.

:r :r I have to go pee before I make a mess :r

[DonWeb]

Wisconsin...I heard Wisconsin is full of lighter fluid drinking farm boys that make their dairy cows nervous. Is that true? Keep in mind, I'm a Cali girl.

ok, jess - i was gonna stay out of this ...

what's wrong with drinkin' lighter fluid? ;)
what's wrong with nervous cows? :tg
...and...
what's wrong with cali girls? :D

[backwoods]

ok, jess - i was gonna stay out of this ...

what's wrong with drinkin' lighter fluid? ;)
what's wrong with nervous cows? :tg
...and...
what's wrong with cali girls? :D



I think she is just cranky cus the guys in Cali dont have 'corn stalks' as big as ours:D






anyone up for some cow tippin?

[ATLHARP]

Hey Jessica, ever had an ashtray on your back? I swear you look like the type of girl that can balance a Stinky without knockin' my stick off the leaf......:D

ATL

[ATLHARP]

Hi jessica.....can you explain this pic of you I found?


jessica (http://www.sheendigital.com/alba/)



I loved you in that bluecrush movie:D

OMG that scared the crap out of me!!! :c


ATL

[icehog3]

I've been working out Mr. Hog. Is the barbell large?

Just have both hands free, my Love..... ;)

[cigar no baka]

Well, all fantasies aside, I bet that living with Ms. Alba is not quite like you've imagined. I bet she has nasty habits, bad moods, farts, belches, gets irritable, gets outright hatefully nasty when she is mad, and probably does things that after 30 years of being together would drive you to commit murder in the first degree.

Sorry to have shattered the fantasy....oh wait, is there more than one fantasy here? Sorry, I didn't notice....

[DriftyGypsy]

Well, all fantasies aside, I bet that living with Ms. Alba is not quite like you've imagined. I bet she has nasty habits, bad moods, farts, belches, gets irritable, gets outright hatefully nasty when she is mad, and probably does things that after 30 years of being together would drive you to commit murder in the first degree.

Sorry to have shattered the fantasy....oh wait, is there more than one fantasy here? Sorry, I didn't notice....

Just remember for every beautiful woman, there is a guy out there who is tired of her shit...

[DriftyGypsy]

Don't worry Jess I saw your Real Estate sales ad (http://www.metacafe.com/watch/207344/jessica_alba_movie_awards_2006/)... but, Sunny Delight and Malt Liquor... what is that a ghetto mojito?

[Diesel Kinevel]

hey jessica my racks bigger than yours:r

[cigar_040]

hey jessica my racks bigger than yours:r


I'd rather see racks like yours anyway...........excellent wallhanger !!!!!

[Kiwi Michelle]

I'd rather see racks like yours anyway...........excellent wallhanger !!!!!


Liar!!! hahahaha!!!

[ColdCuts]

Just so you know Jessica, you top my list of "Escape Clause Girlfriends," so all you gotta do is appear on my doorstep, and I'm free to go with you. I can be ready to go in five. You're on your way, yes? *fingers crossed*

[Fake_Klugs]

Oh Jessica... I'm hoping I stand a chance

[joed]

Well, all fantasies aside, I bet that living with Ms. Alba is not quite like you've imagined. I bet she has nasty habits, bad moods, farts, belches, gets irritable, gets outright hatefully nasty when she is mad, and probably does things that after 30 years of being together would drive you to commit murder in the first degree.



Not

[cigar no baka]

Not

And you know this how??

[Kiwi Michelle]

Oh Jessica... I'm hoping I stand a chance

I am sure that Jessica likes men that are HONEST about themselves!!! Here is a poem that she wrote:

Men don't change
they're all the same
they know your face
but not your name
they lie and cheat and critisize
then turn around and apologize

The exception i am yet to find
the man that always speaks his mind
the man that doesn't believe in deceit
Yes -this man i am yet to meet


(Sounds kinda upset to me!!hehehe)

[Seanohue]

Hmmmm so this is why Jessica Alba is so talked about on the cigar boards.

[Neuromancer]

I am sure that Jessica likes men that are HONEST about themselves!!! Here is a poem that she wrote:

Men don't change
they're all the same
they know your face
but not your name
they lie and cheat and critisize
then turn around and apologize

The exception i am yet to find
the man that always speaks his mind
the man that doesn't believe in deceit
Yes -this man i am yet to meet

(Sounds kinda upset to me!!hehehe)That's me, toots...http://www.smokersforums.org/images/smilies/birdie2.gif

[Stog-a-Boy]

Jessica hasn't been around in a while :(

[SaltyMcGee]

Ummmmm.......Miss Alba, I know you haven't been around for awhile but....well....we're like having a big get together in Chicago on the 19th of this month. It's called the Mega Mob Herf and....well.....I was kinda wondering...



Would you like to come? I'll pay for your $19 dinner!



















Please?

[King James]

Ummmmm.......Miss Alba, I know you haven't been around for awhile but....well....we're like having a big get together in Chicago on the 19th of this month and....well.....I was kinda wondering...



Would you like to come? I'll pay for your $19 dinner!





















Sorry Jared, she is coming to Florida w/ me already

[Kiwi Michelle]

Ummmmm.......Miss Alba, I know you haven't been around for awhile but....well....we're like having a big get together in Chicago on the 19th of this month and....well.....I was kinda wondering...



Would you like to come? I'll pay for your $19 dinner!



















Please?

SSShhhhh Jared I think she is one of the surprise guests!!;)

[icehog3]

Sorry Jared, she is coming to Florida w/ me already

Jessica Alba is your MOM???? :r

[Seanohue]

Jessica Alba is your MOM???? :r

MILF MILF MILF!

[King James]

MILF MILF MILF!

dont be talkin bout my mama!

[SaltyMcGee]

dont be talkin bout my mama!

If Jessica is your mom....I'll go off to FL. w/ you!

[khubli]

did Jessica win the BOTH?

[BigVito]

officially a weird thread:confused:

[theycallmedan'lboone]

Officially wierd and I think y'all scared her off, but hell, Miss Alba I recently read that you thought you recieved more attention as a blonde. I asked all the gentlemen here with me in Afghanistan what they thought, the vote was 118 to 1 that you are much more attractive as a brunette. Then we slapped the guy who said otherwise.

[Seanohue]

did Jessica win the BOTH?

I don't think anyone did....

[Kiwi Michelle]

I don't think anyone did....

Tanner would have if he had have come!!;)

[Seanohue]

Tanner would have if he had have come!!;)


Won the Battle of the Hotties? lol, maybe for drag queens :D

[King James]

everyone knows Alba is the hottest

[Papichulo]

everyone knows Alba is the hottest

She does it for me too!:dr

[GrtndpwrflOZ]

LEAVE ME ALONE

Geez, everywhere I go she goes.
Jess.....I said it was OVER !

What part of over don't you get.

Now give me back my stuff and you can keep all the crap I got you...

[shiek49er]

I can't believe I'm gullable enough to ask this but...... is that really jessica alba that signed up here?

[SaltyMcGee]

I can't believe I'm gullable enough to ask this but...... is that really jessica alba that signed up here?

Yes................yes it is.































:r

[lenguamor]

Better to lose their breath than to only make it half way up my thigh before "releasing their emotions" young one.

http://img174.imageshack.us/img174/5589/ownedsonti4.jpg