Last night, while enjoying the cool temperatures out here, relatively speaking, I decided to step outside and light up an Illusione 68. Wow! What a kick in the mouf, a very enjoyable kick, but a kick nonetheless.
About half way through the short stick, I feel everything in my lower intestine shift about two inches south and I realize I’m instantaneously in trouble. I would say I was prairie dogging, but the prairie dog itself would have had to have been mixed with liquid and thrown in a blender for precisely seventeen seconds on the “pulverize” setting to make the analogy accurate.
The walk to the porcelain trailer was awkward to say the least, but I made it in time with no damage to my pants which would have undoubtedly served only to act as a colander. Let me back up for a minute and put out there that I have not had a normal movement in the last three months. This desert food makes every trip to the porcelain the equivalent trying to shoot mashed potatoes out of a roman candle. This trip, however, completely cleaned me out, so much so that I’m pretty sure I saw that quarter I accidentally swallowed when I was nine.
I’ve been smoking cigarettes for almost twenty years and have never, to my knowledge, been affected in that way simply from lighting up. I’ve smoked on a number of occasions to take my mind off of the impending doom, but never had I had a cigarette cause me to go, and go immediately at that. I have not changed my eating habits, and no other cigar has had this effect on me.
Could it have been the cigar? I’m scared to conduct a follow-up study. I wasn’t even able to finish 68 that started the whole episode.
About half way through the short stick, I feel everything in my lower intestine shift about two inches south and I realize I’m instantaneously in trouble. I would say I was prairie dogging, but the prairie dog itself would have had to have been mixed with liquid and thrown in a blender for precisely seventeen seconds on the “pulverize” setting to make the analogy accurate.
The walk to the porcelain trailer was awkward to say the least, but I made it in time with no damage to my pants which would have undoubtedly served only to act as a colander. Let me back up for a minute and put out there that I have not had a normal movement in the last three months. This desert food makes every trip to the porcelain the equivalent trying to shoot mashed potatoes out of a roman candle. This trip, however, completely cleaned me out, so much so that I’m pretty sure I saw that quarter I accidentally swallowed when I was nine.
I’ve been smoking cigarettes for almost twenty years and have never, to my knowledge, been affected in that way simply from lighting up. I’ve smoked on a number of occasions to take my mind off of the impending doom, but never had I had a cigarette cause me to go, and go immediately at that. I have not changed my eating habits, and no other cigar has had this effect on me.
Could it have been the cigar? I’m scared to conduct a follow-up study. I wasn’t even able to finish 68 that started the whole episode.
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