How do you deal with the girlfriend/wife when she tells you she hates cigars!

J

JordanWexler

Evolving Lead Gorilla
Yea, basically my girlfriend absolutely loathes the fact that i smoke cigars, although i find it to be an incredibly soothing and enjoyable hobby.
Obviously many of you have similar problems -- just wondering what you say to get them off your back a little bit and get them to be more accepting of the hobby!
Its not like i am blowing smoke in anyone's face or anything. Just some sage advice would be much appreciated :D
 
JordanWexler said:
Yea, basically my girlfriend absolutely loathes the fact that i smoke cigars, although i find it to be an incredibly soothing and enjoyable hobby.
Obviously many of you have similar problems -- just wondering what you say to get them off your back a little bit and get them to be more accepting of the hobby!
Its not like i am blowing smoke in anyone's face or anything. Just some sage advice would be much appreciated :D
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Don't worry too much about it. If she's loaths what you love chances are she's not going to last long.:2
 
Try talking to her and say its something you really enjoy and don't want to give up. Sucks that she feels that way, I'm fortunate enough to have a GF that will actually smoke one with me. Maybe cigars will grow on your GF
 
I just reply "at least I am not smoking cigs all the time" She understands I like a good stogie when out with friends on the weekend. She usually replies " you are lucky I like you so much." So it seems to work out all right. :ss Also there are a few smokes she doesn't mind the scent of the second hand from. ie; 5 Vegas Classic, LFD Maduro Chiselito. I always ask now what she thinks of the smell and am searching for ones that she likes. :ss
 
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Makes me want to smoke a cigar :ss


In all seriousness my wife hates that I smoke cigars, hates the smell, thinks its unhealthy. So I had an honest authentic conversation with her and let her know about my hobby and what it meant to me, that I recognize the health dangers and that I choose as an adult in control of my own life to do it. I also comply with all her wishes with respect to my hobby, don't smoke near her, don't smoke in the house, scrub my teeth and mouthwash after a smoke etc.

She loves me and respects me and although she doesn't like my hobby she does like what it does for my peace of mind and general well being once I explained how I felt and what her comments made me feel she acquiesced. She supports me and my hobby but doesn't like it. To me that is what a relationship is about given and take.

Just my :2 but if you truly explain your feelings behind it and she still won't meet you half way then you have to wonder.


 
'Loathes' is pretty strong, Spect may be right...my wife doesn't like cigars, but she's OK with me doing it, as long as it's not in the house.
 
so, how do u get them off your back? its easy.

1. charm them as they are bashing your hobby
2. sweet talk her, tell her shes beautiful and that nothing is better then her including your cigars
3. do the Dirty Mambo :chk* wink * wink *
4. go outside enjoy a stogie

they just want to know they come 1st. give her some attention and she'll leave you a lone. :tu

thankfully, my girl is kool with it :)
 
My wife doesn't like it either... she thinks it stinks. But she still lets me do it. I just don't smoke around her or around the house. If i'm going to a HERF i bring an extra set of clothes. I always carry mints and have that anti-bacterial stuff in the car. It may sound like alot but it keeps the peace. If she's still not happy then kick her to the curb :bn
 
My wife hates it too, but she knows I respect that and only do it outside when I'm by myself. She's a big girl and doesn't complain. I also smoke a pipe, which she does like, and I will offer to do that if we can share some nice weather.
 
wasn't it zino davidoff that once said "if your wife doesn't like cigars, change your wife"? either way, switch out wife for girlfriend

just kidding, explain that its something you do for yourself, as im positive there are things she does for herself (manicures, and whatever else they do. i try not to get involved in that stuff for a good reason)

stearns
 
TheRealBonger said:
I just reply "at least I am not smoking cigs all the time" She understands I like a good stogie when out with friends on the weekend. She usually replies " you are lucky I like you so much." So it seems to work out all right. :ss Also there are a few smokes she doesn't mind the scent of the second hand from. ie; 5 Vegas Classic, LFD Maduro Chiselito. I always ask now what she thinks of the smell and am searching for ones that she likes. :ss
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That's a good idea. If she sees you making the effort to find a cigar with an aroma she likes she will appreciate it. I was smoking in a moderately public place one time and expected to be chewed out but two ladies walked past and said "mmm I love the smell of a pipe!" It was a cigar, but it still was a pleasantly surprising reaction.
 
My wife doesn't like the smell of cigars so I don't smoke them in the house. She doesn't like a lot of the things I do, but it goes both ways. As far as the cigars, I compromise and don't subject her to the smell. If she had outright forbidden me to smoke them.....Well, we probably wouldn't have gotten married. :tu
 
Don't sweat it too much. If you really like this girl just be aware of the smell.. If you are going to be with her make sure you change your clothes and shower to get the smell out.. Also brushing and listerine does wonders.
 
going off of trying to find a smell she likes, its a good way to try and include her in the hobby. If you can include her and get her interested a bit or at least curious.... might make things better. Take her to a herf so she can meet the people you smoke with and might warm up to the idea.
 
I am lucky she can take it or leave it.

She realy doesnt mind it at all. However, I am my own boss. If I want to smoke a cigar and the time or the situation warrants it........I am smoking the cigar.

I am sure she does things you dont like. Sometimes you just have to bend when you are in a relationship.
 
Spect said:
Don't worry too much about it. If she's loaths what you love chances are she's not going to last long.:2
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I'd have to agree- remember- you love someone for what they are, not for what you want them to be. It's not realistic for you to expect to change her mind(esp. if she "loathes" the fact), and you would resent her forcing you to quit. Wishing you luck!
 
Remember, of course, the wise words of Rudyard Kipling in "The Betrothed".... "A woman is only a woman... but a good cigar is a smoke." Or one of my personal favorite pieces of worldly advice.

"The cigar numbs sorrow and fills the solitary hours with a million gracious images." - George Sand

"A good cigar contains the promise of total bliss." - Zino Davidoff

What it seems like to me is that your particular girl doesn't understand cigar smoking. Which is becoming an unfortunately ever-too-widespread ignorance in this world and especially in the US. It could be fun to enlighten her about them. Perhaps even turn into a new activity that you may enjoy learning about together. However, if she is the type who is phobic about any smoke and has perhaps succumbed to all the anti-tobacco propaganda we've been fed since we were children I wouldn't push the issue. Just take solace in your knowledge of a fine hobby and the enjoyment and pleasure it offers and hope maybe one day she might come around.
 
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